I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
