I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
