Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
