oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
