hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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