Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
