My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think I sprained my soul last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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