he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
