are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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