The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize