where does the pee come out of this thing
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
