I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
