you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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