great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
