Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
