well I can't set my house on fire every night
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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