gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
