So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
