Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Semen is not good for contacts.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
