Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Watching her eat just hurts me
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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