Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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