its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
