We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
