No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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