loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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