glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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