Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
