i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
