How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
