I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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