I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
