That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
