woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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