I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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