I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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