Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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