i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
