my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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