Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
