Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
