you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
