Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
