I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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