I think im going to throw up on grandma
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
