I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
