He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
