How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
