He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
