We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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