I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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